Sunday, April 18, 2010

Static Interference. We're Breaking Up.

Dear Blog: I’m beginning to wonder if you and I are truly meant for each other. I want us to be together, but the fact is we don’t really have that much in common.

Good blog updates are supposed to be brief and posted frequently; mine appear once in a blue moon and, as anyone who’s actually taken the time to read all the way through knows, very long.

They’re also supposed to be informative/funny/interesting, so that people want to stick around and read them and then come back later to read more. A huge spike in the graph on the Google Analytics report means that seven people visited my blog on that particular day instead of the usual three, and generally half of those arrived there by accident. Suffice it to say I’m not ranking up there with TMZ just yet.

Still, they do say opposites can attract, and I don’t feel ready to totally give up on you just yet, Blog. I’d like to think I still have something worthwhile to say and that I can still find an effective way to use you. I’m just going to try to be quicker about it.

It’s now officially been a year since I returned from my world travels. I know I use those benchmarks frequently; marking off events based on points in time leading up to, during, or after my Big Adventure. It was a huge turning point in my life, so it’s normal. I’m amazed and grateful that I’m still afloat somehow and that business is starting to pick up. I even had to go out and buy file folders to keep my clients’ projects organized. Very grown-up.

It’s also car jockeying season again, which means the occasional 11-hour, no-break marathon day spent swaying to the soothing sound of impact guns and either laughing at or pretending not to hear the mechanics’ dirty jokes. I’m thinner and exhausted. It held more novelty the first time around, back in the fall. Still, the cash keeps me away from the ATM and I can eat more cookies without gaining weight. You can never be too “rich” or too “thin”. Quotation marks essential there.

Any remaining free time I have is being spent investigating ways to tune out the noise and static that has steadily, stealthily wormed its way back into my life over the last 12 months. I’m so easily distracted and often derailed by all that’s going on around me; not the least being other peoples’ successes, choices and seemingly winning situations, that it’s hard to stay on track towards all that I need to be accomplishing. But, more on that another time.

For now, it’s time to consider a full reboot. Perhaps a visit to my little island paradise? No electricity there, so no static.

“After all this kind of fanfare, and even more, I came to a point where I needed solitude and just stop the machine of 'thinking' and 'enjoying' what they call 'living,' I just wanted to lie in the grass and look at the clouds....” Unknown


Richard said...

Whatever you decide on, keep writing. Whether it's here or in a Moleskine you keep with you at work (hint, hint), keep writing, if only for you. Audiences come and go, but you're always present.

Lorraine said...

I agree with Richard. Don't quiet that talented voice of yours!

red-handed said...

Hmmm ... should you fire your blog or should your blog quit you? Or maybe you could give each other another chance. The looks may wander while the dance card gets thin, but sometimes all it takes is waiting for the right music.

Indigene said...

Some times when you're headed for a break through, the moment to moment pressure mounts up quickly as opposed to day-by-day or week-by-week! All artists go through this. You will succeed! You will!

劉claren0812ceb_brunette said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
tj.adams said...

Your quote:
After all this kind of fanfare, and even more, I came to a point where I needed solitude and to just stop the machine of 'thinking' and 'enjoying' what they call 'living,' I just wanted to lie in the grass and look at the clouds.
Unknown? Really? Do some homework please. It is a Jack Kerouac quote, opening sentence from Alone On A Mountaintop from his book Lonesome Traveler.

FiredGirl said...

Thanks for the info, TJ. It's appreciated. If the place I get the quote from says "unknown" (usually, then I generally don't investigate much past that. I learned something new today, which I love. And it's great to know someone out there is still reading at least some small part of my blog, and caring enough to comment. :)